A huge challenge, but I can handle...

Research project is the most challenging academic task I have never had, although my obstinacy make a big contribution to the challenging level, it's still a difficult project. As a survivor of this extremely stressful experience, I have many useful tips that I want to share with you guys...

At beginning of this project, I knew it's not an task that can be dealed with easily. I'm very interested in the way we doing the research paper. Every steps that we prepared for the paper including how to use library and how to find the articles is so intersting that I'm very active to participate in all the activities. But we Lili and Adranne show us the research paper that be done by others before, I'm dumbfounded. It seems like a very formal real assignment that is given to an university student. I wondered how it can be done so perfectly and completely.

Anyway, we have already started. Searching articles on database, finding books in the library, I did everything as the scheduel planned, but I felt perplexed. I didn't feel that I was getting into my topic. Of course, the part of the reason is my topic is a big one which is difficult to find the point I need focus on. When I was doing research in the library, I found that encyclopedia is very useful to narrow topic and give ideas. I was so exciting because I thought I found what is exactly I want to talk about: the relationship between stress and memory. I'm interested in both of the topics, but because memory topic is related with biology field which I'm not familiar with, I gave up memory topic, instead of it, I choose stress as my topic. Now I found that stress and memory have very close relationship that made me so excited that I didn't mention the details about how to exlpore this topic. I just began to search more information about the topic, it's no doubt that I found a lot articles about my toipc and it seems like I was getting the way on my paper.

I thought so at that time, it's not very difficult to read all the materials and to use notes to order the logic and then papers will come out naturally. But when things are really going on, sometimes they are not like what you think they should be. When I finally got starting to write my paper, the more I wrote, the more I felt confused. To my surprise, I found it's very hard to get into my topic without the clear explaination of memory and stress, if I want to explian it clearly,I have to do both topic toghter! But I still thought I could find a solution because it was too late to change topic, so I continued to write untill Tuseday evening, then, I really felt if I want to do a good job, I have to stop working, something wrong with the process. It's a serious situation.

For this reason, I decided to rebuild all my work so that I was abstent two whole days in the library. I know the dangerousness of doing this in university, but I want to give myself a chance to focus on the thing I'm interested in this time. I read a lot about stress and memory, although it has many technique parts that really drives me crazy, I told myself that it's not that hard, I can and have to handle it because it's my choice that I have responsbility. I found a big problem which lead to that I couldn't get into my topic is because too much technique parts I couldn't really understand without helping of rudiments. Therefore, I went to google and found many nonprofessional articles to help me get general idears and to be familiar with some important technique vocabularies. And then, it's much easier to understand journals. I turned off my mobilephone and not to check my E-mail so that I can do my job quietly. After two days hard working, I finally figure out my problem. I felt that I'm ready to go to school because I don't konw what I can say with teachers when I'm not really figure out my problem. (I'm really sorry to Lili and Adranne...) And then all the things are going to the right way eventhough I'm a little bit late that others...

When I talk with Lili and Adranne, I found it's really helpful when discussed with teachers, and I thought what they told me that when students have trouble with their tasks, it's better to ask help form teachers and professors, is right.They are experienced and much more professional that students, they understand what you are trying to do so that they can help you get an easy way of your task. It's saving time. Obviously, I'm not good at asking for help. That is because I have already used to the education model in China. In China, one class has too many students so that it is impossible to help every student in the class for a teacher. I'm trained to figure out own problems by myself from childhood, so I am not even realized that I need help. I do get a lot of knowledge when I deal with the problem alone, but it spent too much time which in fact is not necessary to spend on and it's not allowed to do this in university. Thanks to this extremely stressful experience, now I know what need to do when I face the similar situation next time.

In my case, reaserch project is not finishing yet. To give an interesting presentition on my topic is really hard. But I'm trying to do a good job. I hope that I can get a happy ending~~~

A SHOCK!

OH~GREAT SPIRIT, KEEP ME FROM EVER JUDGING A MAN UNTIL I'VE WALKED IN HIS MOCCASINS.

I have never saw a class like Mrs.Jane Elliott taught her students before. I am shocked! As same as Jane's students' thinking, I strongly recommend every school should have this program which can give the most impressive and important lesson about discrimination to students. Although the style of teaching seems a little bit unacceptable, it's absolutly necessary! (Even Jane Elliott herself said that:" Every time I do it I end up with a migraine headache. I absolutly hate this exercise. But the worst of it is that the exercise is as necessary today as it was in 1968.")

I understand the effects of discrimination on children very well because I was experienced during my childhood. I don't want to use such a strong word to my family, but I have to say that I was discriminated by my grademother for a very long time. The only reason that I was discriminated because I am a girl, the only female grandchildren in my family. When I was young, I don't understand why I can't get attention as same as my cousins. As a little kid, I desired the love from my grandmother, but no matter how hard I was trying, I still can not satisfied my grandmother as easy as my cousins. I was so confused and felt being hurt. I thought it's my problem, I'm not good encough to get my grandmother's attention eventhough in fact I did excellently. For a long time accumulating gradually, it became my behaviour. When I do anything I decided to do, I demand myself exactly. I want the thing to be done perfectly without missing any small detail or I'll going crazing about it. I need to be recognized a looooooot then believe that I really did a good job. It's impossible to do everything perpectly, so for a very long time I live with feeling shame and lacking of self-confidence. I was tried all days and diffidence and sometimes even avoid to join groups so that I can stay alone and doing things relaxing. I realized this problem when I was in Middle School, I know it's not good but I couldn't control myself to forget the experience in my childhood. I was anguish and finding the only way that can make me feel better is reading, so I spent a lot of time on reading and thinking in order to rebuild self-confidence and recover my trauma memory. During this period I think I am lucky, because I really learn a lot from reading, thinking and writing, not only know myself better, but also I understand the world and lots of other things from deep thinking. Finally, I found solution by myself and knew what I need, what I want and what is the most important thing I should concentrate on ...Then I really feel that I'm growing up, being stronger and able to control my life.

In my case, although I successfully treat my problem and get many surprise by discovering myself, it's still a very stressful and painful experience that a child should not suffer. When I saw this video, I was shocked. It's really the most efficient way to teach people understanding discrimination through experiencing it by themselves. Nobody has right to judge others untill you know the person very well and never discriminate other people because it will be the most stupid thing that you have done in your life.